The Heart of the Matter #sol21
June 15, 2021
I had my evaluation recently.
I had poured over my evidence rubric, my goals for this crazy year, my conferring notebook.
I added 28 pieces of evidence to my document. It took a long time and at the end, when I reflected on the pivoting, the reframing, the supporting, I felt really good about this year.
Really, really good.
I wasn’t sure about my evaluator’s view.
How will others know your worth?
Not that it’s everything, but I keep a little collection each year of the thank you’s I receive. Scrawled on stickies, hastily written on scraps, or carefully constructed in beautiful cards, for me, each one is encouragement to keep moving forward.
But how does someone else view you, a single person in a single position in a building full of others.
The truth is… probably not the way you view yourself.
The things my supervisor chose to highlight about my work were not the things I thought were milestones. They were not the things that kept me up or made me arrive early to puzzle out the details. They were not the small triumphs or the amazing breakthroughs with teachers and students that still make me smile when I think of them.
They were what he noticed. I’m proud of those things too, but they didn’t take much of my talent or my time.
I was disappointed… really disappointed.
But when I went to my meeting, I said aloud… and then I believed, (Because sometimes we have to believe before
we see. I compiled this for myself. I am showing myself what I accomplished this year. I gained perspective about my own actions.
and then I thought… I am not just evaluated by the person that signs the paper. Each one of those stickie notes, those smiles, those teachers who drop by to ask me if they can just talk to me for one minute, they are my true view of my worth.
Those kiddos who say are you coming to my class today? Do you have that book you were telling me about? Let’s read one more chapter, they are my ‘bread and butter.’
This single data point does not define my whole career. It doesn’t even define the other 179 days of this school year. It defines what I let it define.
So my take away… my contribution is perhaps not as transparent as I hope it will be and….
I’m doing it for a bigger audience… and
a higher purpose.
So next year, I might make what I do more noticeable or… I might just keep on keeping on. Keep compiling my stickies and my conferring notes, my smiley faces on my calendar and my early morning coffee talks with teachers.
I mean, why not? I gave myself a good evaluation and plenty of ideas of things I can work on in the future. I may not be half bad at this self evaluation thing. After all, I feel really, really good about this year.