#whyiwrite #sol19

Screen Shot 2019-10-22 at 4.48.13 PM

#whyiwrite  #sol19

October 22, 2019

Why I write? 

{shuffles papers; straightens desk; washes out coffee mug; stacks post-its… sighs deeply}

If I were going to write an essay (perhaps I am) on why I write,  I would say that I have to,  it’s a habit I’m building, and I 200% think it makes me a better educator and coach.  But how?   It seems completely magical in some ways, how I wake up at 3 a.m. and write a whole page in my blog fodder journal about what I am desperate to write.  Lately less that 80% of those ideas make into the confines of this blog.  These ideas wither and die in my notebook, not seeing fruition because I’ve lost the rhythm of writing.  Not to worry.  Even as I typed those words, I thought to myself… it will come back.  

It will come back because I’m tired now, but I’m also inspired.  I’m inspired by all I read, all the conversations I have, what I see,  what I try, and what I see others try.  I’m inspired by my partnerships and my trials,  my colossal fails and my almost wins.  I’m inspired by my friends, virtual and right here, who notice when I don’t write.  I’m inspired by… ideas.  There are so many!

When I began…

I formally saw myself as a reading teacher that taught writing.  I never considered writing. When I began blogging, I didn’t consider blogging actually writing.  Instead, I read and read and read.  I wrote in margins, on stickies, and in notes about things I had read, but I didn’t write about what I was thinking.  I held back.  Like many or perhaps all, my young writing was filled with criticism and endless, endless revision until the voice on the page sounded not at all like my voice to me.  I hardly hear those negative voices now in my head.  I write like I hope I inspire others to write… freely.

When I began writing in earnest a few years ago, believing that my blog was writing. Believing myself to be the type of writer who blogs because she wants to discover ideas, discuss ideas, and stretch out ideas until they shine like new pennies and reflect their effervescence far and wide.  It feels amazing to write my ideas down, to push the curser back as I reconsider, to mine my little notebook for a tiny crumb that comes to me as I’m driving or cooking, talking or reading.  

Why do I write?  I would be a fraud if I taught writing instruction to teachers and facilitated writing to young writers if I hadn’t struggled through an idea myself, if I hadn’t looked up to think about the next words that might come after those words waiting on the page.  As I write,  I learn more about what it means to be a writer.  I learn more about the process of writing, the way words string together, the way writing about something can empty your heart and fill it at the same exact moment.

Why do I write?  I think I have come to view writing in the same way I do reading now.  I might be writing at my ‘just-right’ level, but there’s always room for a bigger amount.  There’s always room for a stretch. That’s how I became a better reader, more and more along with thinking and thinking.  Same concept with writing, more and more along with trying, experimenting, pushing, editing, fixing up, and letting go.

Why do I write?  Now I know that, no one is looking at my words and saying… you know, she’s not really a writer.  No one is thinking…what makes her think she can write?  They are thinking as I do when I read someone else’s writing, I never thought of it that way or that’s exactly what I was thinking!  

So I write.  I’m a writer.  Why not?

img_0602I wouldn’t be a blogger without the encouragement of my dear friends, Clare and Tammy, who saw me as a writer long before I could say those words myself.  I write in the shadow of an amazing community of writers that inspire me to ‘better’ every day.  Thank you to the amazing inspiration that is all of the writers at TwoWritingTeachers.

 

10 thoughts on “#whyiwrite #sol19

  1. I love these thoughts and your perspective! I agree that we are so much more authentic as educators when we do this work. I love your evolution of seeing yourself as a writer and the encouragement that Clare and Tammy gave you. Sometimes, it helps so much when other see the potential inside of us. Thank you for these beautiful thoughts today!

  2. I decided to read all the #why I write posts today. I found yours intriguing and lost myself in your blog. I’m not a regular reader, but enjoyed wandering in your words. I think my favorite part is the paragraph explaining how you view writing the same way now as you do reading. “There’s always room for a stretch.” Hmmm, maybe I need to do a bit of stretching.

  3. “Believing myself to be the type of writer who blogs because she wants to discover ideas, discuss ideas, and stretch out ideas until they shine like new pennies and reflect their effervescence far and wide.” I love this line! We always have to believe and model that belief, share that belief with those around us young and old! I am so glad you write – we wouldn’t “know” each other if we didn’t and I am glad, and better because I know you! Thanks for sharing!

  4. What a beautiful post! So much goodness in your writing. One of my favorite parts… “I would be a fraud if I taught writing instruction to teachers and facilitated writing to young writers if I hadn’t struggled through an idea myself, if I hadn’t looked up to think about the next words that might come after those words waiting on the page.” Beautifully written.

  5. So glad you do … I learn from your writing every time. I love that I can literally hear your voice as I read – laughing and nodding as I go. You have so much to share – I am so thankful that we have our weekly “meet ups.”

  6. I’m glad you write. Your voice echoes across the distance into my classroom as I read your posts. I can feel the successes and can agonize with the frustrations. I appreciate that much of what you write about, many others, myself included, are feeling at that moment in time.

    I’m glad you’ve found your voice because it’s helped others, myself included, find theirs! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s